Q & A- Whiny Toddlers

This is the first question that was posted as a comment on my Q & A post back in January. I'm a parent but a parent that has made a lot of mistakes and doesn't have all the answers. I will attempt to answer Betsy's question with the way that I would/have approached this struggle. So, here's Betsy's question:

I have a very smart, but very whiney 22 month-old. I have tried simply making him ask for things in a nicer voice and not giving him anything until he does, but we don't seem to be making any progress. I'm in need of some advice! Suggestions?

Here's my response:

Start with compassion:
-rule out illness and teething. Often toddlers are teething which makes them grumpy. A little Orajel can go a long way. Even if you can't see any teeth trying to come through they can be experiencing pressure pain. Check a chart to see if teething is a possibility.

-analyze change....sometimes change in environment (moving houses or even bedrooms) can cause emotional issues that manifest themselves as wining. Change in routine, change in care taker, change in diet, change in atmosphere (rearranging furniture; new sibling; etc.)

New Baby could be a huge factor....suddenly they don't have mom's full devotion...now her love is split between two. This can take some adjusting time. Having some special mommy and me time set aside each day without baby (while baby is sleeping) or a mommy date can help with this issue. Instead of getting caught up on housework while baby sleeps, take 30 min. to spend one on one with toddler..playing with him, reading to him, etc. If you are already doing this and you still think this might be a factor, then it will just take time to adjust to having another baby in the house.

If "compassion issues" have been ruled out, move to discipline.

-wining is not okay. God tells us to have a happy heart. An unhappy heart (attitude) is sin. If you are sure that it is an attitude issue and "compassion issues" have been addressed and compensated for then I would personally apply discipline. See Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and Don't Make Me Count To Three by Ginger Plowman. There is a GREAT chart inside of Don't Make Me Count To Three that helps moms deal with attitude sins and what to tell your child the right attitude is. I posted the chart on my fridge for many years.

I hope this helps. I'm no expert....but I did have issues with whining when my kids were little. Heck, my daughter is doing it again this week and she's 8! =0) Parenting is an always demanding job! =0)

Blessings to you and your sweet family, Betsy.